18.Briefcase Boogie
Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Scott thunes (bass)
Jay anderson (string bass)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny 'guitar' watson (vocals)
Harry： (to thing-fish)
Anything you say, master! take me, i'm yours!
Rhonda： (broadway-style fake singing)
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To chicago every day, oh...
Thing-fish：
Oooh, lawd! lookit you, boy! chain thoo de nipples 'n evvy
goddam thing! you a sick white muthafucker, ain'tcha？
Rhonda：
Bells on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To chicago every night, oh...
Harry：
For chrissake, rhonda! have you no shame？
Thing-fish：
Y'all make up y'mind yet, 'bouts de mammy o' yo' dreams？
Harry：
You bet! i've waited all my life for this moment! my heart is
fluttering! if only i could submit myself on approval, for a
limited time only...to ...to that nasty little rubber mammy on
your kne
Thing-fish：
Sister ob'dewlla 'x'？ de mys'try sister？ y'all wants t'party
hearty with de min'yature rubber mammy wit de string out de
back？ yow! dintcha get 'nuff 'buse fum de other bitch when y'was
livin' i
Card-bo'd hut？
Rhonda：
Harry...harry...hey! harry! fucking wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! i want a
divorce, harry!
Harry：
Not now, dearest, please! this is serious! little mammy, what'll
it be？ hips or lips？
Harry snatches sister ob'dewlla 'x' away from thing-fish,
bashing himself with it in an irrational manner.
Rhonda un-zips the santa claus costume, revealing the rubber
body suit, hoping for some sign of interest from her deranged
husband. there isn't any...he's beating the fuck out of himself
and lov
Very minute of it.
She squeezes her rubber tits, as if to squirt them at him. still
no interest.
Rhonda：
You're a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! a fucking
wor-r-r-r-m-m-m-m-mmmmmmmmmmm! these are my tits, harry! i have
tits! look! look at me! look at my wonderful tits, you fucking
wor-r-r-r-r-mmmmmmmm! i'm goi
Pretend i'm squirting them on you! whoo! wheeeee! almost gotcha!
Harry：
Not now, rhonda! ow! oof! oh, i love this! hurt me! hurt me! oh,
pull my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacallit!
Rhonda：
They're almost squirting, harry! look! look! whoooooo! whooooo!
whoooo! you fucking worm!
Thing-fish：
Ob'dewlla! is y'awright？ don't be pullin' de boy's chain too
hard dere! he gots 'nuthuh show t'do t'morrow! don't put dat in
yo' mouf, girl! i knows y'cain hep y'seff wit dat crazy
muthafucker '
' you like dat, but jes' hang on a lil' longuh...he be droppin'
de wad putty soon now!
Rhonda： (pinching her nipples, jiggling her tits)
Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Harry：
Oh! this is divine!
Rhonda：
This is my pussy, harry! look! see it？ you know what i'm gonna
do with it, you worm？ i'm gonna make it fuck something! that's
right! you won't get any of it...because you're disgusting! an'
i do
Eed you, mr. first-nighter! my wonderful, wonderful pussy
doesn't need you! i have my briefcase, harry! i'm going to fuck
my briefcase! i'm going to...look! look at this! i got it right
over her
Ere! see it？ my big, brown, briefcase! my briefcase! it's big,
harry! it's full of business papers...from my career!
A tan and brown briefcase, seven feet tall, is lowered in.
francesco watches it land near his window. he exits the bungalow
with a can of crisco and a violin case. n pantomime, he
cautiously int
Ts rhonda's monologue, suggesting that she examine the contents
of the case. it contains a strap-on dildo of such ridiculous
proportions that a chain leading from just behind the head of it
must
Ooked to a leather dog collar around rhonda's neck, in order to
hold it up. francesco recommends the crisco as a lubricant,
daubs on a bit with a miniature doll's foot, finally indicating
that s
Nceal her pubic hair with a cardboard box, in the manner
preferred by famous singing christians.
Rhonda reaches inside the briefcase and locates her 'special
atomic glasses' (with tiny doll arms reaching out through tiny
cardboard boxes), and puts them on.
She reaches in again and finds an artificial hamburger with a
red ribbon on it. she mounts it on top of her head, tying the
ribbon in a neat bow below her chin. ready at last, she humps
the brie
Vigorously.
Rhonda： (contd.)
I'm gonna put my glasses on, harry! i'm gonna put my hair up in
a bun! then, i'm going fuck fuck fuck! ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! look!
see me？ see how i got my hair up？ whooo! i'm really doing it!
unngh
Gh!
Harry：
Rhonda...have you no shame! keep the briefcase closed, for
chrissake! all your documents are falling out!
Rhonda： (as over-sized file folders emerge)
Unngh! i'm good! oh god i'm good! harder! faster! unngh! unngh!
this is terrific! boy, i need it so bad...
Harry：
Those are the warner brothers files, aren't they dear？ don't you
think there'll be some questions about the condition of the blue
paper？
Thing-fish：
Girl! bes' be careful wit de latch!
Rhonda： (with the handle in her mouth, semi-intelligible)
I'm sucking the handle now, harry! look! mmmmmm! it tastes good!
mmmmmm! mmmmmm! the handle! the handle!
Harry：
Hurt me, ob'dewlla! make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber
love!
After nibbling on it as if it were a giant piece of
corn-on-the-cob, thing-fish hands rhonda an oversized pink
fountain pen with her name on the clip.
Rhonda：
I've got a fountain pen, harry! i've got a fountain pen with my
initials on it! i'm putting it in my mouth, harry! i'm gonna get
it wet! i'm gonna stuff it up my asshole and ride the briefcase
a
You disgusting perverted bastard worm! i'm gonna do it! look,
harry! whooo! unngh! unngh! god-damit, harry! watch me! this is
for your own good!
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